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Watching a loved one navigate the changes that come with dementia can be overwhelming, especially when it comes to their safety on the road. You may wonder: "Is it still safe for them to drive?" or "How do I know when it's time to take the keys away?" These are difficult questions, but you're not alone in facing them.

Driving is more than just transportation — it represents independence, freedom, and connection to the world. When dementia enters the picture, however, driving can become risky for your loved one and others on the road. Recognizing the warning signs is the first step toward making a decision that prioritizes their safety and well-being.

Below, we explore common indicators that it might be time to have this conversation and how to approach it with care and compassion.

1. Increased Accidents or Unexplained Damage

Finding new dents, scratches, or other damage on your loved one's car may indicate difficulties with spatial awareness or slower reaction times — both of which are common as dementia progresses. Even minor fender benders or near misses could be early signs that driving is becoming unsafe.

What You Can Do:

  • Check their vehicle regularly for signs of damage.
  • Gently ask them about recent driving experiences: "I noticed a scratch on the car. Is everything okay when you're out driving?"
  • Consult a professional driving evaluation program to get an unbiased assessment of their skills.


2. Confusion Over Colors, Words, and Standard Road Rules

Difficulty interpreting road signs, stoplights, or lane markings can make driving dangerous. Dementia often impacts the brain's ability to quickly process visual and verbal information, leading to confusion during critical moments on the road.

What You Can Do:

  • Ride along with your loved one to observe their ability to respond to signs and signals.
  • Take note of any missed stoplights, confusion at intersections, or uncertainty about right-of-way rules.
  • Share your observations with their physician, who can recommend the next steps or suggest a driving test.


3. Confusing the Brake and Gas Pedals

Accidentally pressing the gas instead of the brake — or vice versa — is a serious safety concern. This type of confusion is often linked to cognitive decline or loss of coordination, putting both the driver and others at risk.

What You Can Do:

  • Look out for erratic driving behaviors or sudden stops.
  • Watch for signs of hesitation or uncertainty when they operate the pedals.
  • Have their health care provider evaluate their coordination and reflexes to assess their ability to continue driving safely.


4. Getting Lost in Familiar Places

Getting disoriented in well-known areas is a strong indicator that dementia is impacting their ability to navigate safely. This confusion can lead to feelings of panic or vulnerability, especially if they're far from home.

What You Can Do:

  • Keep a record of incidents where they've gotten lost or needed assistance to find their way back.
  • Gently ask how they feel about driving: "Have you noticed it's been harder to find your way lately?"
  • Offer alternative transportation options, like ride-sharing apps, family support, or community shuttles.


5. Uncharacteristic Episodes of Anger or Road Rage

A loved one who becomes unusually irritable or aggressive behind the wheel may be struggling to manage the cognitive demands of driving. Dementia can heighten frustration, particularly when faced with complex or high-pressure traffic situations.

What You Can Do:

  • Observe whether your loved one is more impatient or prone to emotional outbursts while driving.
  • Share your concerns with their doctor, who can evaluate whether dementia-related changes are contributing to their behavior.
  • Reassure your loved one that stepping away from driving doesn't mean giving up their independence — it's a way to keep them and others safe.


How To Have the Conversation With Empathy

Discussing the possibility of giving up driving is one of the hardest conversations you may have with a loved one, but it's also one of the most important. Approach it with kindness and patience, emphasizing your concern for their safety and well-being rather than focusing on what they may lose.

When you're ready to bring up the subject of driving, choose a quiet, private moment when neither of you feels rushed or stressed. Try to stick to "I" statements to express your feelings. For example, "I've noticed some changes in your driving, and I'm worried about your safety." Offer solutions that preserve their independence, like scheduling rides or arranging for family members to help with errands.

Your Loved One's Safety Should Be a Priority

Deciding when it's time for a loved one to stop driving is never easy, but it's an act of care and protection. By recognizing the signs early and approaching the conversation with empathy, you can help them transition to a safer lifestyle while maintaining their dignity. If you need guidance or support, consult your family physician or local resources specializing in dementia care. Together, you can create a plan that prioritizes your loved one's safety and well-being.

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